onnxruntime

[CUDA] cuDNN Flash Attention (#21629)

### Description
- [x] Add cuDNN flash attention using cudnn frontend, and enable it in
MultiHeadAttention operator.
- [x] Support attention mask.
- [x] Support attention bias.
- [x] Update tests and benchmark script.

The cuDNN SDPA is disabled by default. To enable it, need the following:
(1) Requires cuDNN 9.3 or newer version installed.
(2) Set an environment variable `ORT_ENABLE_CUDNN_FLASH_ATTENTION=1` or
set `sdpa_kernel=8` cuda provider option to enable it.
(3) Only works on devices with compute capability >= 8.0.

Note that some combinations of parameters might be rejected due to
limited support of head dimension or sequence lengths.

Future Works:
(1) FP8 and BF16 APIs.  Currently, only API for FP16 are exposed.
(2) Add API to support ragged batching (padding removed in inputs).
(3) Support other input formats (like QKV_BS3NH).
(4) Currently, q are converted to BSNH, k/v are converted to either BSNH
or BNSH format. May do some experiment to see whether converting q to
BNSH could be better in some case.

### Example Benchmark Results on H100

The following tests are on FP16 MultiHeadAttention operator without
attention mask and attention bias.

#### Test Setting 1
batch_size | sequence_length | past_sequence_length | num_heads |
head_size
-- | -- | -- | -- | --
16 | 256 | 0 | 32 | 128

format | average_latency | tflops | kernel
-- | -- | -- | --
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000075 | 229.5 | torch:flash
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000119 | 144.8 | torch:efficient
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000224 | 76.5 | torch:math
Q,K,V (BSNH) | 0.000075 | 227.8 | ort:cudnn
Q,K,V (BSNH) | 0.000094 | 182.8 | ort:flash
Q,K,V (BSNH) | 0.000138 | 124.7 | ort:efficient
Q,K,V (BSNH) | 0.000438 | 39.3 | ort:math
Q,KV | 0.000129 | 133.0 | ort:cudnn
Q,KV | 0.000151 | 114.1 | ort:flash
Q,KV | 0.000194 | 88.5 | ort:efficient
QKV | 0.000154 | 111.8 | ort:cudnn
QKV | 0.000175 | 98.0 | ort:flash
QKV | 0.000217 | 79.0 | ort:efficient

#### Test Setting 2

batch_size | sequence_length | past_sequence_length | num_heads |
head_size
-- | -- | -- | -- | --
16 | 512 | 0 | 16 | 64

format | average_latency | tflops | kernel
-- | -- | -- | --
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000069 | 249.2 | torch:flash
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000141 | 121.7 | torch:efficient
Q,K,V (BNSH) | 0.000294 | 58.5 | torch:math
Q,K,V (BSNH) | 0.000077 | 221.7 | ort:cudnn
Q,K,V (BSNH)  | 0.000087 | 196.6 | ort:flash
Q,K,V (BSNH)  | 0.000163 | 105.6 | ort:efficient
Q,K,V (BSNH)  | 0.000651 | 26.4 | ort:math
Q,KV | 0.000103 | 167.1 | ort:cudnn
Q,KV | 0.000117 | 146.3 | ort:flash
Q,KV | 0.000192 | 89.6 | ort:efficient
QKV | 0.000113 | 151.5 | ort:cudnn
QKV | 0.000128 | 134.7 | ort:flash
QKV | 0.000201 | 85.3 | ort:efficient