onnxruntime

Fix build when flash attention and memory efficient attention are disabled (#18761)

### Fix build when flash attention and memory efficient attention are
disabled

On a customer env with lower version of CUDA < 11.6. Both flash
attention and memory efficient attention is turned OFF according to
https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/blob/e8f33b54bab5129b0dea177669bbd1c1d0894dd8/cmake/CMakeLists.txt#L701.
So
https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/blob/e8f33b54bab5129b0dea177669bbd1c1d0894dd8/cmake/external/cutlass.cmake#L1
condition check return false. No cutlass lib is built.

```
Turn off flash attention since CUDA compiler version < 11.6
```

While, the kernels in
https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/tree/main/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe
are depending on cutass for its build, so we get error like this:

```
[ 77%] Building CUDA object CMakeFiles/onnxruntime_providers_cuda.dir/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu.o
In file included from /tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu:17:
/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_template.h:23:10: fatal error: cutlass/array.h: No such file or directory
   23 | #include "cutlass/array.h"
      |          ^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
compilation terminated.
In file included from /tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu:17:
/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_template.h:23:10: fatal error: cutlass/array.h: No such file or directory
   23 | #include "cutlass/array.h"
      |          ^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
compilation terminated.
In file included from /tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu:17:
/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_template.h:23:10: fatal error: cutlass/array.h: No such file or directory
   23 | #include "cutlass/array.h"
      |          ^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
compilation terminated.
In file included from /tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu:17:
/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_template.h:23:10: fatal error: cutlass/array.h: No such file or directory
   23 | #include "cutlass/array.h"
      |          ^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
compilation terminated.
fatal   : Could not open input file /tmp/tmpxft_00044da3_00000000-11_moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.compute_60.cpp1.ii
make[2]: *** [CMakeFiles/onnxruntime_providers_cuda.dir/build.make:6290: CMakeFiles/onnxruntime_providers_cuda.dir/tmp/onnxruntime/onnxruntime/contrib_ops/cuda/moe/ft_moe/moe_gemm_kernels_fp16_fp16.cu.o] Error 1
make[2]: *** Waiting for unfinished jobs....
make[1]: *** [CMakeFiles/Makefile2:2210: CMakeFiles/onnxruntime_providers_cuda.dir/all] Error 2
make: *** [Makefile:166: all] Error 2
Traceback (most recent call last):
  File "/tmp/onnxruntime/tools/ci_build/build.py", line 2746, in <module>
    sys.exit(main())
  File "/tmp/onnxruntime/tools/ci_build/build.py", line 2639, in main
    build_targets(args, cmake_path, build_dir, configs, num_parallel_jobs, args.target)
  File "/tmp/onnxruntime/tools/ci_build/build.py", line 1527, in build_targets
    run_subprocess(cmd_args, env=env)
  File "/tmp/onnxruntime/tools/ci_build/build.py", line 824, in run_subprocess
    return run(*args, cwd=cwd, capture_stdout=capture_stdout, shell=shell, env=my_env)
  File "/tmp/onnxruntime/tools/python/util/run.py", line 49, in run
    completed_process = subprocess.run(
  File "/opt/conda/lib/python3.8/subprocess.py", line 516, in run
    raise CalledProcessError(retcode, process.args,
```


### Motivation and Context

To summarize, there are two cases we will have build failure for Linux
CUDA build:
1. User use cuda version < 11.6
2. User disabled Flash attention and memory efficient attention
explictly with onnxruntime_USE_FLASH_ATTENTION and
onnxruntime_USE_MEMORY_EFFICIENT_ATTENTION