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Shut down Bazel gracefully and revert wheel build strategy to job matrix (#1383)

This commit adds a `bazel shutdown` command to the setuptools BazelExtension. This has the effect that wheel builds shut down the Bazel server and terminate gracefully after the build, something
that was previously an issue on Windows builds.

Since the windows-specific `--no-clean` flag option to `pip wheel` becomes unnecessary due to this change, this change has the side-effect that GitHub Actions wheel builds via `cibuildwheel` can now
be written as a compact job matrix again, which leads to a lot of deduplicated code in the corresponding workflow file.

Lastly, some GitHub-provided actions (checkout, setup-python, upload/download-artifact) were bumped to the latest v3 version.