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ARROW-9362: [Java] Support reading/writing V5 MetadataVersion

This also enables Flight to write differing metadata versions.

Not implemented: any checks for unions in read/write based on metadata version.

I refactored TestFileWriter very heavily as I wanted to ensure IpcOptions was thoroughly tested and didn't want to duplicate code. I hope this doesn't make the change too hard to review.

Closes #7685 from lidavidm/arrow-9362

Authored-by: David Li <li.davidm96@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Wes McKinney <wesm@apache.org>