arrow

GH-38998: [Java] Build memory-core and memory-unsafe as JPMS modules (#39011)

Depends on #39134 

### Rationale for this change
Part of modularizing Arrow. Allows these components to be used by tools that require JPMS modules such as jlink.

### What changes are included in this PR?
- Refactor memory modules so that all netty code is in netty-memory.
- All code being injected into Netty packages and have dependencies on Netty's package-private code go into a new module memory-netty-buffer-patch.
- The surefire command line has been changed to allow reflection on unsafe to be used by arrow-memory-core
- Add module-info files for arrow-memory-core and arrow-memory-unsafe

### Are these changes tested?
Yes, existing tests work when run with modules.

### Are there any user-facing changes?
Yes, users now need to put --add-opens=java.base/java.nio=org.apache.arrow.memory.core,ALL-UNNAMED on their java command line instead of --add-opens=java.base/java.nio=ALL-UNNAMED since memory-core is now a named module instead of unnamed.

 **This PR includes breaking changes to public APIs.** 
Yes, users now need to put --add-opens=java.base/java.nio=org.apache.arrow.memory.core,ALL-UNNAMED on their java command line instead of --add-opens=java.base/java.nio=ALL-UNNAMED since memory-core is now a named module instead of unnamed.
* Closes: #38998

Authored-by: James Duong <james.duong@improving.com>
Signed-off-by: David Li <li.davidm96@gmail.com>