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GH-37621: [Packaging][Conda] Sync conda recipes with feedstocks (#37624)

Syncing after the release of 13.0.0 + a couple of migrations (state as of https://github.com/conda-forge/arrow-cpp-feedstock/pull/1168 & https://github.com/conda-forge/r-arrow-feedstock/pull/68)

Relevant updates:
* we're not building twice for different protobuf versions anymore
* new abseil version (fixes #36908)
* we've finally upgraded the aws-sdk to 1.11
* the default R versions (on unix) are now 4.2 & 4.3.

Also some further hardening of the activation scripts & clean-ups for dependencies & test skips.
* Closes: #37621

Lead-authored-by: H. Vetinari <h.vetinari@gmx.com>
Co-authored-by: h-vetinari <h.vetinari@gmx.com>
Signed-off-by: Joris Van den Bossche <jorisvandenbossche@gmail.com>