arrow

GH-34843: [R] Fix R build failed caused by Acero refactor (#34844)



### Rationale for this change
There was an issue with window R build introduced by this PR:
https://github.com/apache/arrow/pull/34711

### What changes are included in this PR?
Many changes to the build files

### Are these changes tested?
crossbow builds

### Are there any user-facing changes?

* Closes: #34843

Lead-authored-by: Weston Pace <weston.pace@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Li Jin <ice.xelloss@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Jacob Wujciak-Jens <jacob@wujciak.de>