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GH-45334: [C++][Acero] Fix swiss join overflow issues in row offset calculation for fixed length and null masks (#45336)



### Rationale for this change

#45334 

### What changes are included in this PR?

1. An all-mighty test case that can effectively reveal all the bugs mentioned in the issue;
2. Other than directly fixing the bugs (actually simply casting to 64-bit somewhere in the multiplication will do), I did some refinement to the buffer accessors of the row table, in order to eliminate more potential similar issues (which I believe do exist):
    1. `null_masks()` -> `null_masks(row_id)` which does overflow-safe indexing inside;
    2. `is_null(row_id, col_pos)` which does overflow-safe indexing and directly gets the bit of the column;
    3. `data(1)` -> `fixed_length_rows(row_id)` which first asserts the row table being fixed-length, then does overflow-safe indexing inside;
    4. `data(2)` -> `var_length_rows()` which only asserts the row table being var-length. It is supposed to be paired by the `offsets()` (which is already 64-bit by #43389 );
    5. The `data(0/1/2)` members are made private.
3. The AVX2 specializations are fixed individually by using 64-bit multiplication and indexing.

### Are these changes tested?

Yes.

### Are there any user-facing changes?

None.

* GitHub Issue: #45334

Authored-by: Rossi Sun <zanmato1984@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Rossi Sun <zanmato1984@gmail.com>