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GH-35838: [C++] Add backpressure test for asof join node (#35874)

### What changes are included in this PR?

Passing the correct nodes to the backpressure controller, along with better parameter naming/doc. Also added reusable gate-classes (`Gate`, `GatedNodeOptions` and `GatedNode`) that enable holding all input batches until a gate is released, in order to support more robust backpressure testing in this PR.

### Are these changes tested?

Yes.

### Are there any user-facing changes?

No.

**This PR contains a "Critical Fix".**
* Closes: #35838

Lead-authored-by: Yaron Gvili <rtpsw@hotmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Weston Pace <weston.pace@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: rtpsw <rtpsw@hotmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Li Jin <ice.xelloss@gmail.com>