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ARROW-2981: [C++] improve clang-tidy usability

- adds a docker-compose service for running clang-tidy
- docker-compose runs as root, so the files touched by clang-tidy and clang-format were owned by root. They are now passed back to the user
- clang-format is run after clang-tidy because the latter munges formatting

I ran clang-tidy then cleaned up the build errors [in this branch](https://github.com/apache/arrow/compare/f92830fa751d791854e9bac9c34755dd730ec375...bkietz:clang-tidy-run-example) to give an idea of what things are changed and what things can go wrong.

Author: Benjamin Kietzman <bengilgit@gmail.com>

Closes #4293 from bkietz/2981-Support-scripts-documentation-for-runnin and squashes the following commits:

63ac52c8d <Benjamin Kietzman> refactor clang-tidy: don't modify sources
31e475598 <Benjamin Kietzman> run code-modifying linters with lint_user
fa5af80dd <Benjamin Kietzman> add description of producing HeaderFilterRegex
3ecc91d0f <Benjamin Kietzman> built-in clang-format didn't match ninja format
2193dab2e <Benjamin Kietzman> mention clang-tidy in integration.rst
0724b5554 <Benjamin Kietzman> update clang-tidy's header regex to sort-of match lint_exclusions.txt
df3a12148 <Benjamin Kietzman> clang-tidy can run clang-format automatically
ed2b2311e <Benjamin Kietzman> maintain ownership when running clang-{format,tidy}
a87dd0464 <Benjamin Kietzman> adding docker-compose endpoint for clang-tidy