arrow

GH-36203: [C++] Support casting in both ways for is_in and index_in (#36204)



### Rationale for this change

This is a follow up of https://github.com/apache/arrow/pull/36058#pullrequestreview-1488682384. Currently it only try to cast the value set to input type, not the other way around. This causes some valid input types to be rejected.

### What changes are included in this PR?

The kernels will first try to case value_set to input type during preparation. If it doesn't work, it would try to cast input to value_set type before the lookup happens.

### Are these changes tested?

Yes. 

### Are there any user-facing changes?

Some previously rejected input types will now be valid.

* Closes: #36203

Lead-authored-by: Jin Shang <shangjin1997@gmail.com>
Co-authored-by: Antoine Pitrou <pitrou@free.fr>
Signed-off-by: Antoine Pitrou <antoine@python.org>