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ARROW-16803: [R][CI] Fix caching for R mingw build (#13379)

The primary issue here was that a matrix build used the same cache keys on all sub-builds which caused all but one cache-step to fail.

During my work on this, I noticed several `actions/cache` related issues:
- `actions/cache` is not updating the cache on primary key hit https://github.com/actions/cache/issues/342
  - I think this is one of the reasons for bad ccache hit-rate, I have implemented a workaround that seems to work but has the downside of creating a new cache.   
- actions/cache also uses the path of the cached files when matching existing caches https://github.com/actions/cache/issues/815
  - This prevents re-use of R package dependencies (on windows only?). I switched to `r-libs/actions/setup-r-dependecies` which is more concise and ***much*** faster (~ 2min vs. ~15+min)  even without caching.

I have also increased the ccache maxsize to prevent/reduce the amount of (slow) cleanup operations and increase cache hits and performance. This is a change that will affect other workflows through `setup_ccache.sh`, which is why I have marked this as a draft for now. 

I also removed ccache from the windows R builds as we do not use it when building the R package (we could enable that  in the future)

Authored-by: Jacob Wujciak-Jens <jacob@wujciak.de>
Signed-off-by: Antoine Pitrou <pitrou@free.fr>