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ARROW-7026: [Java] Remove assertions in MessageSerializer/vector/writer/reader

Related to [ARROW-7026](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-7026).

Currently assertions exists in many classes like MessagaSerializer/JsonReader/JsonWriter/ListVector etc.

i. If jvm arguments are not specified, these checks will skipped and lead to potential problems.
ii. Java errors produced by failed assertions are not caught by traditional catch clauses.
To fix this, use Preconditions instead.

Closes #5801 from tianchen92/ARROW-7026 and squashes the following commits:

b651f363f <tianchen> revert some changes
758f088f5 <tianchen> keep some asserts
59bba1333 <tianchen> fix style
fdbc8a00f <tianchen> ignore asserts in plasma
c4e7738f6 <tianchen> ignore assert in hot paths
3341e6e26 <tianchen> ARROW-7026:  Remove assertions in MessageSerializer/vector/writer/reader

Authored-by: tianchen <niki.lj@alibaba-inc.com>
Signed-off-by: Micah Kornfield <emkornfield@gmail.com>