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GH-14936: [Java] Remove netty dependency from arrow-vector (#38493)

### Rationale for this change
This removes Netty from core Arrow modules that do not have net code (aside from tests).

### What changes are included in this PR?
* Change use of IntObjectHashMap to come from Eclipse instead of Netty-common to remove the dependency on Netty from arrow-vector.
* Add test cases for MapWithOrdinal.

### Are these changes tested?
Yes.

### Are there any user-facing changes?
No.

* Closes: #14936

Authored-by: James Duong <james.duong@improving.com>
Signed-off-by: David Li <li.davidm96@gmail.com>